How to Choose the Right Tutor for Your Child’s Needs
Finding the right tutor for your neurodivergent student can be transformative, helping your child build confidence, learn to navigate their academic and executive functioning challenges, and feel supported in who they are. Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing a tutor for ADHD, Autistic, or other neurodivergent learners.
Qualifications: What to Look for in a Tutor’s Background and Experience
When looking for the best fit for your neurodivergent kid or teen, a qualified tutor will have more than just a degree or subject matter expertise. Here’s what really matters:
Experience working with neurodivergent students: Tutors who have experience working with students with ADHD, dyslexia, ASD, and other forms of neurodivergence understand that each student learns in their own unique way – and they won’t use a one-size-fits-all approach or well-meaning-but-tired strategies like rote memorization or “just using a planner” (we know your kid already has six of them stashed in their desk drawer).
A lifelong learner with a collaborative spirit who brings curiosity and openness to the table. They’re not there to simply pass down knowledge; they work alongside students, adapting and growing with them – and they’re not afraid to explore unconventional paths to find what truly resonates with each student. This kind of tutor sees learning as a two-way street, where they’re as invested in listening and understanding as they are in teaching.
Relevant education and certifications: A tutor who is passionate about supporting neurodivergent students will draw from research-backed practices rooted in the experiences and insights of neurodivergent communities. While not always a requirement, tutors with certifications in trauma-informed coaching, academic coaching, executive functioning, and diagnosis-specific coaching bring an added layer of expertise, so you can rest easy knowing your student’s coach is using and teaching strategies backed by science as well as lived experience.
Lived experience: For many students, it can be incredibly impactful to work with a tutor who shares their form of neurodivergence. Tutors who’ve walked a similar path bring a deep understanding of the challenges and strengths that come with being neurodivergent. They know what it’s like to struggle with executive function, navigate sensory sensitivities, or feel out of sync with traditional learning environments – not just in theory, but firsthand. This empathy allows them to build trust and create a safe, affirming space for your kid to learn.
And on that note… don’t overlook tutors who’ve taken non-traditional paths. That tutor may not have graduated from Harvard at age 21, but their life experience might make them a perfect fit for your kid who is struggling to engage with school. It can make a world of difference to work with a tutor who has “Been There” and knows how hard it is to navigate a neurotypical world with a neurodivergent brain.
But most importantly: an understanding of neurodivergent-affirming practices. Neurodivergence-affirming tutors support rather than attempt to “fix” differences, allowing students to work in a way that feels aligned with their needs and the way their brain works. Rather than forcing one “right” way of doing things, or encouraging your kid to behave more neurotypically, they’re invested in finding approaches that actually work for your child.
Personalized Learning Plans: Your Kid Needs One
Every student learns differently, and this is especially true for neurodivergent kids. A good tutor for ADHD students, Autistic students, or other neurodivergent students doesn’t use a one-size-fits-all model. Instead, they’ll craft an approach that builds on your child’s strengths, interests, and unique learning needs, by incorporating:
Individualized learning goals: A great tutor will partner with you and your child to collaboratively define specific, individualized learning goals that align with your child’s needs. For some, that means getting support in specific subjects where they struggle, while for others, the focus might be on developing executive functioning skills like planning, prioritization, and focus.
Flexibility and creativity, adapting their strategies based on feedback and ongoing progress. Your student might benefit from a range of strategies, such as visual aids, movement breaks, chunking tasks, or using multi-sensory methods. Ask about these during your search.
Support beyond the subject matter: Especially for neurodivergent students, tutoring goes beyond academics. If your child struggles with procrastination, organization, or managing stress, make sure the tutor can offer guidance in these areas.
Questions to Ask to Gauge a Tutor’s Fit
Interviewing a potential tutor is the next step to finding a solid match. Here are some questions to help you identify if a tutor is the right fit for your child::
“What experience do you have working with neurodivergent students?”
Look for detailed, thoughtful responses that show understanding and empathy. A skilled tutor will be able to share examples of how they’ve adapted methods to support neurodivergent students.“How do you approach creating individualized learning plans?”
Ask how they develop these plans, and if they’re open to working closely with you and your child to refine them. A red flag is a rigid, one-size-fits-all plan that doesn’t leave room for flexibility or feedback.“How do you incorporate executive functioning skills into your sessions?”
Even if you’re hiring the tutor for a specific subject, incorporating coaching around executive functioning skills (like task initiation, focus, and organization) is often essential for neurodivergent students.“What will you do if my child has an off day?”
Neurodivergent students may sometimes struggle with focus, follow-through, or emotional regulation. A good tutor understands this and has strategies for those challenging days, whether it’s switching gears, helping your student assess their sensory needs, pausing for a movement break, or incorporating different motivators into hard tasks.“How do you communicate progress and goals?”
Ask how they’ll keep you in the loop regarding your child’s progress and how they’ll involve your child in understanding and celebrating their own growth. (Our tutors write session notes with students, allowing them to reflect on their goals, what went well, what they’d like to do differently, and how they’ve progressed from week to week.)
Involving Your Child in the Process
If your kid is already feeling reluctant or skeptical about tutoring, being forced into it can often lead to more resistance and erosion of trust. It’s natural for kids, especially neurodivergent kids who may have had difficult or frustrating experiences in traditional learning environments, to have mixed feelings about starting with a tutor.
Encourage your student to approach tutoring as a trial partnership instead of a long-term commitment. This gives them the opportunity to test out the experience, share their feelings openly, and help decide if the tutor is a good fit. Framing it as “let’s try this and see how it feels” respects their autonomy and reminds them that their input matters.
Here are some ways to support your child’s buy-in:
Give them a say in choosing the tutor: Involve your child in reviewing tutor profiles, looking at photos, or joining the first intro meeting. Encourage them to express what they like or dislike about potential tutors.
Normalize apprehension: Reassure your child that it’s okay to feel unsure about starting something new. Validating these feelings instead of dismissing them gives them the space to feel heard and opens up a channel for honest feedback later.
Agree on the length of the trial period together: Suggest trying out tutoring for a few sessions and checking in afterward to see how they feel. Emphasize that you’ll respect their input on whether to continue or adjust if things aren’t feeling like a good fit.
Make it easy for them to share feedback: Create a comfortable way for them to share how they’re feeling about the sessions. It might be weekly text check-ins, a shared journal you both write in, or simply agreeing that if something’s not working, they can tell you (and their tutor) directly. A tutor who welcomes and adapts to feedback is also key!
Ultimately, respecting your child’s autonomy throughout the process builds trust and empowers them to take an active role in their own learning journey – a skill that will serve them well long after tutoring ends.
Remember that seeking tutoring services isn’t just about finding someone who knows the subject material; it’s important to choose someone who understands and supports the way your child learns best. By focusing on folks with solid qualifications, incorporating personalized plans, and asking the right questions, you can set your child up for a successful and fulfilling tutoring experience.
